my decision,my feeling

hmm..
i think..
i made the decision dy..
hope i will not change my mind again and again..
seriously,
i think..
maybe take some new challenge, hard mission for myself..
it will make me become more mature and self-confident..
maybe after i choose it, try it, deal with it..
i will like it, and all are really useful to me for my future job, life..
i know,
is time for me to learn be more independent..
i should not always just stay at home..
like 温室里的小花..
i understand..
玉不琢不成器..
人是需要经过磨炼，才会成长..
人生也是一样，需要经历，才会灿烂..
i cannot like before like tat..
scare this scare that,
worry here worry there..
i should IMPROVE myself!
i should CHANGE my mind!
i should be a MATURE person!
i should be a CONFIDENT person!
i shoule be BRAVE!
wish i can keep this thinking until the end..

hmm..
i am still havent tell to my family about my truth decision yet..
don't know y..
i think after one month just tell them,i comfirm dy..
i think will be better bah..
because i don't want let them feel and say i am too quick and rush to made the decision..
although from that day till now..
it is just around two or three days..
but my mood, my thinking is really keeping up and down..
and at the end..
after i thinking a lot..
i think i want continue to choose that..
i want to cope my stress!
i want to handle everthings by myself..
i feel wanna to try again!
although now i am still feel got bit afraid..
but i know..
if i choose it..
is will be better bah..
i choose that, it is because i wish i can change become better..
become a more confident and independent..
i wish i can..
:)

hmm..
so,
mama,sisters..
i know u all will be worry me ..
or is very worrying me now..
especially mama..
i am feel so sorry to mama..
Sorry, mama..
i know i am weak..
maybe in ur eye,heart..
i am really quite a weak daugther:(
and also sorry about ,
when you always ask about my future,
i will always feel annoying and also pek cek with you..
i also don't know why i will become like that when u ask me..
i know you are caring me..
i really know..
but i really don't so like the way u asking me ..
i know you are caring me..
maybe is just you don't know how to express it only..
so become like tat..
i really know..
so,
i am feel sorry..
sorry before my attitude is bad to you..
Sorry :'(
and,
also sorry i am always a person who also scare this scare that..
Sorry
:'(
but..
believe me..
i will try my best and change it..
please trust me..
:(

hmm..
mama, sisters..
i will keep thinking properly again and again ..
hmm..
okay..
just give me a deadline,
one month..
use this one month and let me confirm it..
but i think my decision won't change le bah..
i know when after i made this decision..
i will be very stress and hard in my future..
but i also feel want to try..

i will really try my best..
try really very very very hard ..
once if i get this chance..
i will try my best..
to get a good result..
prove myself to be better and better..
wish after one month..
i tell u all about my decision..
i also can get u all support..
u all support are really very important to me..

hmm..
k la..
wish me good luck..
i will rmb..
'positive thinking positive thinking positive thinking!'
and DONT THINK TOO MUCH!
:)